


The Ginger Solution

by Kelkat9



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Aliens, Crack, Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/pseuds/Kelkat9
Summary: The Doctor and Rose have a lot to work out after returning to Pete's World.  Kidnapped by aliens, both of them find that perhaps circumstances weren't so confusing and they were still the Doctor and Rose, the stuff of legends and happily ever after was their reward.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HiddenTreasures](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTreasures/gifts).



> This story is for the very talented lastbluetardis on tumblr as part of dw secret santa gift exchange. I used your prompt: Tentoo/Rose A post Bad Wolf Bay scene with Tentoo and Rose and what happens in those first few hours after being left in their new universe together. I hope you like it :)
> 
> Thank you to imadethisblogtofollowyou for the alien name Mysseltoze. Thank you to Hellostarlight20 for betaing for me! Also, thank you to whoever created the fandom term "red velvet man cake." I love that phrase and was dying to incorporate it into this fic :)

Rose marched quietly beside the Doctor trudging through the thick sand of Bad Wolf Bay. The wind whipped at her hair and the chill pierced through her blue leather jacket. Her arms wrapped around herself whilst her mind raced over the day and the end of her travels and this was certainly the end. She’d found and lost the Doctor. Yet the Doctor was here with her too. Or, at least, a version of him. Rose could barely wrap her mind around two Doctors. Well that wasn’t true. She had several thoughts about traveling with both of them and maybe doing other things…

Other things…she wanted to snort at the thought. How stupid could she be? Having everyone in the TARDIS happy and joyful skewed her perceptions of how things would turn out. She immersed herself in a happy fantasy of once again traveling only this time with two Doctors and Donna. Or maybe that was three including Donna? Her head ached trying to unravel it.

All she knew for certain is one Doctor left her and another stayed. No, he didn’t stay. He was left behind with her. And therein lay another problem. Did he even want to be there? Or with her? Stuck on Earth? For all the strange and fantastic things that happened to Rose during her travels, she couldn’t deny he was still the Doctor. Just different. A memory slipped forward: good different or bad different?

She glanced over at his tall, lanky frame in the tight blue suit. His hair was even more in disarray but still appeared incredibly touchable. And he said he loved her. She swallowed hard at that part. His voice in her ear whispering those words overwhelmed her and the kiss…oh she couldn’t forget that kiss ever. Yes, he was good different. Not that it made their odd circumstances any easier.

He stared forward, obviously lost in his own thoughts. She quickly refocused ahead on the long expanse of sand and rocks, catching her mother’s arm as she stumbled and grumbled about long walks, god forsaken beaches and aliens with bad directional sense. Her blue-suited Doctor didn’t respond. 

It worried Rose. She reached for his hand. He laced his fingers with hers automatically. The warmth of one simple gesture encouraged her and especially when he looked at her with the same, timeless brown eyes. Before she could say more than, “Doctor,” the air pressure intensified and energy tingled against her skin.

“Oh, no,” he gasped, his eyes widened and he pulled her against his chest. 

“What the bloody hell is going on?” Jackie demanded, her long blue coat pulled tight around her as she stared at them. “Rose!”

All the air squeezed out of Rose’s chest. “Shit.” 

The Doctor tightened his arms around her. “Rose, I’m so sorry.”

As she burrowed into his chest, her ears rang and popped. Freezing cold air wrapped around them and then darkness. 

#

The Doctor’s final thought before blackness claimed him was _No, not now_! He awakened sitting bolt upright with Rose lying next to him. His mind raced, calculating amount of time he was unconscious, analysing the air, the cold black surface beneath them and the quiet hum of what he ascertained to be ship engines.

It was only fitting once reunited with Rose and finally having the chance at a forever, they would be kidnapped by aliens. The universe hated him. All universes apparently, even this new parallel one. He must have set some new record: only in this universe thirty nine point two five seven four seconds and it turned against him. He sniffed and ran a hand through Rose’s hair, his fingers slipping through long blonde strands and pressed against the pulse point on her neck. Steady and her skin was still warm.

He breathed a sigh of relief at that. His ever present guilt weighed down on his shoulders. He should have shoved her away, not clung to her like the desperate Time Lord he was. Well, Time Lord Metacrisis. The chilly air caused him to shiver. 

He couldn’t regulate his body temperature any more. Annoying. He also couldn’t discern any doors in the small rectangular room nor any equipment, just an empty grey room. No signs of who took them either. Rose groaned and sat up rubbing at her temples.

“Transmat beam.” He squeezed her shoulder

“Yeah, I figured.”

“I’m sorry, Rose. I just wanted us to be happy. I should have anticipated this.” He rubbed at his neck and squinted around the room. He’d get her out and back home to Jackie. And then, well he didn’t know. His chest tightened at the thought of losing her again.

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t ask for the aliens to kidnap us.” She tried to stand up and wobbled. He caught her elbow and helped her stand.

“Rose, I’m me. It was inevitable.” He sighed and toed his red trainer into the metal floor.

Rose arched her brow and shook her head. And then a smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “So you’re saying your jeopardy friendly.” A tongue teasing smile punctuated her comment and it almost broke him. Oh, but he missed her.

“Ha! That would be you, Rose Tyler!” He pointed and thumped her on the shoulder, relieved at the growing levity between them. 

It was warm and familiar but it didn’t change the fact of their circumstances. He glanced around again. “This is probably about me being complicated and temporal.” He waved his hand in the air. “And if you hadn’t been with me--” Before he could finish a wall melted away forming an arched doorway and a sweet spicey scent filled the air. “Brilliant.” 

He shuffled closer to Rose who sighed and gripped his hand. The weight lifted from his shoulders at the slide of her fingers against his. Maybe, if they were lucky, he could do what he always did, talk their way out of it. His single heart beat harder. Yes, they would face whatever or whoever brought them here…together. But a tiny insidious doubt curled in the back of his mine. He wasn’t a full Time Lord and didn’t have a TARDIS this time. Rose squeezed his hand. 

“It’s not your fault,” she reassured him, eyes focused on the doorway. A jingling like sleigh bells sounded through the door. Their captors arrived in masse. 

“Oh look at them!” He couldn’t keep the soft toned awe from his voice as the very human-like aliens walked in all dressed like Christmas elves. As tall as Rose, they had slightly pointed ears, sparkling green eyes and every one was ginger. All of them wore bright red and green coats and trousers, all trimmed with white fur. Their shiny black boots made barely a sound on the floor as the group entered.

“Your royal highness,” they announced and bowed at the waist. The Doctor gaped for a moment. Then his shoulders relaxed. This wasn’t so bad after all.

In fact, he preened. It had been a long time since he’d been mistaken as a deity much less a royal. Clearly, they recognized his advanced intellect and if he did says so, posh style. He knew the blue suit fit him to a tee and Rose liked blue. Her own leather jacket was a similar shade, a fact he didn’t miss. 

He stood a little taller as he faced the aliens who he recognized immediately. Not that he ever met them or interacted with them in anyway in their prime universe. The Doctor couldn’t deny meeting this particular species might be on his Time Lord Bucket List. The excitement vibrated through him at the opportunity.

“Rose! These are the Mysseltoze! In our universe they’re a legend and look at them here, bowing!”

“Yes, I can see that,” Rose said tightly around a friendly but not quite genuine smile plastered on her face. He arched a brow at her.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about. Every account I’ve read says they’re friendly if not a little shy. I mean in our universe, but here, look at them inviting us up for a little tea and—um worship?” Rose’s grip on his hand tightened. 

“Yes, they’re real friendly. That’s why they transmatted us up here without asking.” He tugged his ear at the annoyed tone in her voice. Normally Rose didn’t blink at one of their adventures. Then again, they had just faced Daleks and well maybe she was still upset about the beach and other him abandoning them. 

He needed to fix this and prove to her he was still her Doctor. And if they had a little fun along the way, all the better. He cleared his throat and faced the aliens who watched them expectantly, the bells on their pointed hats jingling as they jostled against one another.

“Hello!” He smiled and waved at them with his free hand. “Thank you for the lovely greeting and the transport from the beach and all. Blustery day out it was! Nowhere as festive and joyous as you lot!”

They cocked their heads to the side and frowned. One short haired Mysseltozian with a goatee beard a prominent pointy red striped hat stepped forward focused on Rose. “My Queen, we need your guidance and wisdom to solve a most terrible matter.” A hum of agreement sounded behind the leader.

The Doctor’s mouth gaped and he slowly turned to Rose.

“Don’t start. I’m really not in the mood.” Her hand slipped from his and she crossed her arms before heaving a big sigh and squeezing her eyes shut for a moment.

“My Queen,” the Doctor repeated and bit his lip trying not to laugh. He was so thick. Of course he should have seen it. They didn’t know him but Rose…she’d been in this universe for years. A huge grin twitched the corners of his mouth. It really wasn’t his fault. 

“It’s good to see you again Peppermyntz,” Rose greeted the head elf with a nod. “You want to explain why you whisked us up without so much as a warning?” 

“Forgive us, we needed your wisdom and golden light to guide us through a terrible and dark time. As our most benevolent and compassionate Queen of the Glistening Silver and Gold Tinsel of Winterlandia and protector of sacred Kringledom, only you can save us.”

“Help me, Queen Rose, you’re our only hope,” the Doctor whispered with a snigger. Rose glared at him before facing Peppermyntz again.

“It’s okay, Peppermyntz. It’s just been a bit of a day already and the Doctor and I were looking forward to a rest. Maybe we could sit down and talk this out?”

All eyes turned on the Doctor. Many of the Mysseltoze leaned into each other and whispered, glancing at the Doctor. The Doctor moved closer to Rose. “Uh Rose, is there a King of the Mysseltoze?”

A slight twinge of jealousy coursed through him at the thought. Rose bit her lip and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Rose?” He couldn’t help the insistent tone in his voice. And a possessive part of him reeled at the thought some other alien might have won his Rose’s heart.

“Not exactly. The whole queen thing is a bit complicated. The last king went on a sugar induced rampage taxing all gingerbread, sugar plums and assorted candies as tribute to him. Until the whole vat of caramel thing where he sort of fell in or maybe was pushed. I didn’t exactly get the whole story. Only they aren’t keen on kings.”

“I’m here by accident. If I hadn’t held onto you--” His ego may have deflated slightly but it was the cold fear in the pit of his stomach that shook him. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if she’d vanished from his grasp. 

“No,” Rose emphasized. “I’m glad you did. Not that I wanted both of us kidnapped but--” She paused, biting her lip. “At least we’re together.” Hearing her say together and feeling the warmth of her hand slide against his, eased his fear at the thought of how close he came to losing her. 

The room quieted. Peppermyntz eyed their joined hands and narrowed his eyes at the Doctor.

“The Queen needs rest and sustenance before she solves our great matter!” Peppermyntz’ voice echoed in the room. Several of the Mysseltozians swarmed around both Rose and the Doctor leading them out of the room. The Doctor lost his grip on her hand as he was jostled forward by the jingling crowd.

“Rose!”

“It’ll be okay, Doctor. I just need a moment to talk to them. You’ll be all right!”

They whisked her down a corridor to the left while he was shoved down a corridor to the right and eventually into a large chamber stuffed with brightly wrapped boxes and with shiny coloured Christmas ornaments hung from the ceiling. Spheres, spirals and a double helix design in silver that looked remarkably liked human DNA gently tinkled above him. 

Before he could ponder the significance, an older Mysseltozian with silver hair in a gravity defying design piled on her head marched in. Shorter and dressed in long blue robes with snowflakes sparkling on the fabric as well as pinned in her hair, the Mysseltozian circled around him, tapping blue painted nails on her nose. 

The Doctor decided the friendly approach might be best and he was quite charming if he did say so. “Hello, I’m the Doctor and you are?”

“I am the Minister Wassailia.”

“Right, of course you are. It’s an honour to meet you, Minister.” He nodded his head and suddenly felt the green gazes of a half dozen Mysseltozian’s boring into him. The silent stares amidst the festive room unnerved him. “Sooo Queen Rose is quite something isn’t she?”

“All Mysseltozians honour Queen Rose for her bravery in defeating the most vile and greedy Grinchmas and the evil hordes of Gimmies and the Greedmeisters.” The Doctor watched the whole group shudder.

He had a glimmer of an idea of who their enemies were although maybe under slightly different names in their home universe. It wasn’t like he hadn’t faced down despots, dictators and those out to suppress or steal away the joy and freedom of those with slightly less resources available to them. Rose had joined him many times. Warm memories washed away any discomfort he felt.

She’d stood by him, ready to stand up for the downtrodden or incite a rebellion or two. Her bravery and compassion drove him harder to be better, more worthy of her affection and respect. Despite the years separating them, Rose was still that brave woman who stood up for what was right. 

She was a Defender of the Multiverse. Of course she wouldn’t tolerate any attempt to destroy or blackmail the more passive Mysseltoze. He bounced on the balls of his feet itching to know more of this story and get back to Rose. Of course, the only way that happened was to prove to his elvish hosts he was no threat and in fact agreed with their worship of her. Wellll, his worship might be slightly different.

“I’m sure Rose sorted anyone who threatened you. It wouldn’t be the first time and it’s part of who she is…who we are together.”

The minister examined him from head to toe. He fidgeted shifting from foot to foot feeling the need to emphasize his relationship with their queen. “Rose and I have known each other a long time. We were separated by some rather nasty circumstances which she overcame rather brilliantly. I’d rather not repeat that separation. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to protect her.” They continued to stare at him. He tugged at his ear. “So what I’m getting at is--”

“You love her.” The minister stated this as a fact. A slight twinkle in her eyes and the briefest quirk of a smile cracked her otherwise austere image.

“Well, I…Uh…I mean who wouldn’t? She’s…my Rose.” It hadn’t been his plan to broadcast such an intimate detail to the universe. In fact, revealing such private information was something he avoided as a practice. 

Whispering it into Rose’s ear was one thing. But confirming it out loud to the benevolent Mysseltozians? He might as well as hold out his arms and ask the universe, or multiverse, to rip out his single heart. After all, wasn’t he enough of a target without pointing out the one thing his heart couldn’t bear to lose?

The minister nodded. “Yes, I see it now.” He wasn’t sure what she saw. But the tension in the room softened and the others seemed almost jovial. Trays of food and drink were carried toward a sitting area.

“The queen’s consort is welcome amongst our people,” the minister announced and smiles lit the faces of the others in the room. The Doctor let out a sigh of relief as the minister escorted him to a red velvet lounge chair as a table was set nearby with a variety of sweets and if his olfactory senses were right, ginger tea. 

He couldn’t help but smile as the brightly dressed and still jingling Mysseltoze poured tea and chatted amiably with him about Mysseltozian weather, the joy of finding their lost sacred herd of reindeer and complimenting him on his suit. He bit into a ginger biscuit and groaned at the sweet and spicy flavour enhanced by the cream tea. Bon bons, butter biscuits and a particularly spicy gingerbread followed. 

Confident Rose was being treated with equal hospitality, the Doctor enthusiastically engaged the minister in a discussion of fashion and old Earth Christmas legends. Several biscuits later and buzzing with the pervasive cheeriness of being surrounded by sparkle, bows, and enthusiastic hosts who debated the quality and ratio of molasses to ginger in their gingerbread, all tension ebbed away. In fact, he felt warm, relaxed and bit dizzy with a sugar rush.

It didn’t even worry him when one of his hosts pulled out a measuring tape nor when another examined and tutted at his scuffed red trainers. When the Minister rang a silver bell and several of her people arrived carrying a ruby red suit, his mouth gaped.

The Minister cleared her throat. “As our Queen’s consort, you shall accompany her at the formal negotiations to resolve our great matter.”

He eyed the suit. “Ah yes consort duty.” He nervously tugged at his hair having not anticipated how seriously they took the whole consort concept. “And being the Queen’s consort requires me to--” He reached over and felt the fabric: velvet and luxurious. He wasn’t opposed to velvet and he sort of liked the cut but he did love his blue suit.

“To show respect,” the Minister enunciated and narrowed her eyes at him.

Bugger but he hated it when the aliens pulled the whole show respect and by respect we mean do–as-we-tell-you thing. It never ended well for him. Not that he meant to be disrespectful but he had a particular rule about nakedness and not sharing his nakedness with anyone other than his favourite blonde. And besides, what was wrong with his blue suit? They loved it a few minutes ago. 

Tears ran down the face of one of the Mysseltoze holding the suit. The petite young ginger man crumpled inward. 

“Oh no, no, no, it’s lovely really it is,” he assured. 

The only worse thing than wheedling his way out of some enforced clothing related custom was a crying tailor. And with one compliment, he set his fate. They allowed him to keep his under things and brought him more ginger biscuits and some jelly babies to sweeten his mood. Soon he was attired in a well fitted dark red suit, white dress shirt and matching green and red paisley waist coat. It was topped off with a red and white striped tie.

He turned to the side in a nearby full length mirror and had to admit, it fit him just the way he liked and he looked fetching. He caressed the silk tie and fussed with his hair to complete the look.

“The Queen awaits!” the Minister announced with great flourish.

With a nod of approval he turned to face his crowd of admirers all of them jumped up and down in excitement. It wasn’t until he stepped forward and the room tilted that things went pear shaped.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose knew where she was the moment she woke up to the familiar scent of freshly baked cookies and cinnamon. The memory of the crashed ship of Mysseltozian refugees wasn’t something she would forget. Nor was the giant green Cyclops slaver who landed shortly thereafter. The slaver and his army of armoured thugs demanded not only the Mysseltoze but all of Earth’s supply of gingerbread.

At first, Jake and Mickey chuckled, thinking it was some weird alien joke. But the joke ended when a Torchwood van blew up in blue fire. The poor Mysseltoze flinched and begged for help. And it wasn’t hard to want to help a bunch of elf-like creatures who shrieked and cowered at one agent’s sneeze.

Torchwood had policies regarding alien asylum. Rose knew it was complicated and took time. She, Jake and Mickey instead designated the incident as an invasion with a few innocent alien bystanders. At least that was their argument when they had to explain to Pete why two blocks of a London suburb lost power in an EMP burst and why a time and space rift, previously sealed, suddenly reopened sucking into it a cranky Cyclopes, its army, a few trees, cars and a warehouse. 

The only silver lining was the grateful Mysseltoze who watched Rose stand up to the Cyclops, known as the Grinchmas, and flip the switch that sucked him into the rift. They wanted to repay Rose and Earth. In fact, they were so grateful, they named her Queen, provided Torchwood with a never ending supply of holiday treats, glass baubles and ornaments that had a particularly useful conductive property to increase output to their electrical grid and provided Pete with several cases of the Mysseltozian equivalent of ginger whiskey.

After never ending teasing about the whole Queen thing, much enjoyment of sweets and few tipsy parties, Torchwood helped the Mysseltoze repair their ship and sent them on their way. But not before the aliens swore their devotion and allegiance to Rose. She tried to assure them it was nothing and she was happy to help. But they insisted on a ceremony naming her Queen and gifting her with a sacred amulet. Later that amulet was determined to contain a metal they needed for the Dimension Canon. And then it was Rose who owed the Mysseltoze.

The moment she saw them on the ship, her stomach knotted. It wasn’t like she could turn her back on them. They were the reason she found the Doctor. And therein lay the problem. She didn’t want to be Queen. She wanted to take a save-the-Multiverse break so she could spend time with the Doctor. Rose hadn’t realized until the moment she woke from the transmat how much she needed alone time with him.

But worse than her need for alone time with him, she watched the familiar guilt he often bore harden his jawline even amidst friendly aliens. Her heart ached at how he automatically accepted blame. It was so very Doctor.

Then the whole Queen thing came out and he teased her. Rose breathed a sigh of relieve hoping maybe everything would work out. She wished. No, Queen Rose apparently had duties to fulfil, duties that did not include the Doctor. At least not until she insisted he, her Queenly Consort, be delivered to her.

And thus she found herself primped and prepared for her formal duties whilst her adoring people fetched the Doctor. She swirled her long scarlet skirt around her ankles as she took in the whole Queenly gown effect. The scarlet lace halter top was fitted to her torso. Matching lace sleeves very cleverly attached under her arms leaving her shoulders bare but covering her lower arms her wrists in a very elegant look. Her mother would hate that she missed seeing Rose in such an elegant gown with her hair arranged in curls piled up high on her head appearing very regal.

A slight smile cracked her stressed and tense expression. Her pale skin against the deep red did make her look royal. She wondered what the Doctor would think. As if on cue, he walked in escorted by the Mysseltozian courtiers. And what an entrance he made.

“Rose! My beloved Queen!” He stumbled forward, caught by a few of the jingling and snickering elf courtiers. “Nice catch, Fruitcake!”

The younger Mysseltozian frowned. “I’m Honeyspice.”

“Oh yes, course you are!” He waved his hand casually in the air. “Love honey spice cake too! Not as much as the ginger spice but you know, you’re all sweet and lovely!” Then his glazed eyes landed on Rose. His jaw dropped.

Rose watched a huge grin emerge onto his flushed face. Although, it was difficult to tear her eyes away from how his new suit emphasized his lean physique. Her mouth went a little dry as she realized her formerly blue suited Doctor was now red velvet man cake and that was the only description that filtered into her mind. 

He stepped forward, wobbling slightly, guided by a few more courtiers who all looked toward Rose for approval. She met the Doctor half way, her gown swishing across the floor. Several of the courtiers bowed as she caught the Doctor by the shoulders when he stumbled again.

“Hello,” he said softly, brown eyes focused only on her.

“Hello.” Her fingers dug into the plush red velvet of his suit. In that moment, any previous worries about who he was, if he wanted her or what they’d do next evaporated in a fog of red velvet wearing Doctor. She wanted to pet him. But they were surrounded by anxious Mysseltoze.

Rose cleared her throat and looked over at a smirking Minister Wassailia. And that’s when it hit her. He wasn’t just smiling and happy to see her. She sniffed his breath and groaned. He was high on Mysseltozian ginger. Great. 

“Thank you, Minister, for taking care of my…Consort.”

The minister inclined her head. “Anything to assist our Queen and assure her happiness.”

“I’m all about the Queen’s happiness,” the Doctor inserted with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Rose’s cheeks heated. Of all the times he had to get amorous, why now? Bloody alien ginger. She tried to swallow down her aggravation.

“Doctor, how many ginger treats did you eat?” She needed to assess how bad this would be.

“Ginger! Yes, love the ginger. I’m never gonna be ginger now Rose.” He sighed heavily. “But I can still enjoy ginger biscuits, ginger cake and, oh, ginger tea! You’ve got to try it! It’s brriilllliyant!” She tried not to laugh as he drew out and enunciated his words.

“Yes, it is and really intoxicating.”

“What? Noooo, not to me! Time Lord me. Errr I mean part Time Lord but it doesn’t matter cos’ I’m still me. You know that right?” He stared at her with that wide eyed puppy dog look and her heart melted.

“Of course, you are.” She patted his arm and wound her arm through his. “But right now the human part’s a bit pissed on alien ginger.” Rose looked at the Minister. “Maybe we should get going with the negotiations before my consort passes out from your ginger.” The minister’s face turned red before she led them into another room.

“Rose.” She felt his hot breath against her ear and shivered at how close his tongue was and how she’d felt that tongue brush against her lips earlier on the beach. Dammit this wasn’t fair. Why did the universe torment her?

“Yes, Doctor?” Her voice strained slightly as she focused on walking beside him with as much dignity as she could given he kept leaning awkwardly into her.

“You know I love you, right?”

Forget queenly grace. Her heart swelled at his declaration and twice in one day. Tears pricked her eyes. He might be drunk on ginger but there was an honesty underlying his slurred words. She gazed into his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I love you too.” She stumbled over the words not quite ready to say them but unable to hold back. She’d done enough of that during their travels.

“Oh good cos’ I might be a tad compromised and when I say a tad, I mean a lot as in it might take me a while to metabolize the you know -- stuff!” She bit back a giggle as he waved a hand awkwardly in the air.

“You’ll be fine. A little hung over later, but fine. We just have to help the Mysseltoze first.”

“Right, sure we do. Love the Mysseltoze!” They sat down on two throne-like red velvet chairs amongst a circle of four green chairs. While Rose sat delicately on her chair arranging her skirts, the Doctor sprawled on his laying his head on her bare shoulder, his hair tickling her skin. Again, she cursed the universe by taunting her with a drunk, cuddly Doctor.

Eventually, Peppermyntz and three other Mysseltoze arrived. The minister bowed and left as a round glass dome lowered around them. Rose’s eyebrows shot up as she realized they sat in a snow globe as mint scented snowflakes swirled around them. She would never complain about Torchwood meetings ever again.

“My Queen,” Peppermyntz announced. “May I introduce Frankincense, Jinglebob and Hollynog who are here to present our Great Matter for you to resolve.”

“And what are we discussing?”

Jinglebob, a frown marring his elderly elf face stood, his red suit sparkling under the light. “My Queen, we face a tragic dilemma, a catastrophe to our world.” He raised his hands in grand gestures signifying the importance. “Three great houses once worked together to produce the highest quality ginger root but now we are divided and all of Mysseltoze is at stake.”

Rose worked hard to keep her face neutral and not groan. Ginger root. They were arguing over ginger. Rose listened to Jinglebob wax poetically and dramatically about the fall of the sacred ginger crop and trouble brewing among the ginger growing families. With a head pounding realization, the whole spicy affair fell on Rose to stop a ginger war involving alleged ginger sabotage and petty family disputes including who had the best gingerbread recipe.

Hollynog, younger, dainty and with a sweet voice dressed in sparkling green robes, made her case. She took on the family business and accused the frowning Jinglebob of infringing on her property and stealing some of her crops and soil to mix with his own; along with theft, she also accused him of interference in her family causing dissent. Freckle faced Frankincense, about the same age as Hollynog but dressed in an evergreen suit with gold embellishments rolled his eyes.

Shouting commenced between Jinglebob and Hollynog. Rose sat forward, the Doctor’s head rolled off her shoulder and he started before sitting up in his own chair frowning at the commotion.

“That’s enough!” Rose shouted.

Peppermyntz rang jingle bells on his staff . Everyone quieted and sat down although Jinglebob still glared at Hollynog. Frankincense just sighed and slouched down in his chair.

“Right, let’s talk this through calm like.” Rose glared at the two shouters who appeared chastised and sat with hands clasped in their laps.

“Good. Now then, as I get it, this is about ginger stealing, altered crops and gossip.”

The Doctor giggled next to her. “Ginger-feuding.”

Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. How had it all come to this? She had a good life once, traveling through time and space; popping onto alien planets, helping and then dashing off before things turned into blackened and bitter ginger crumbs. She could do this. After all, she was Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth, Time Traveller, Torchwood Agent, Daughter of Jackie Tyler and unwilling Queen of ginger obsessed aliens. She’d sort this and get her poor ginger-pissed Doctor back to Earth where they would talk and snog properly.

“I want to hear from Frankincense. Tell me how all this started.”

Frankincense sat up. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he straightened his pointed hat and faced Rose. The Doctor reached into his coat and pulled out a hand full of ginger biscuits he had tucked into a pocket. 

Rose frowned and grabbed two from him. He didn’t need all of them. She, on the other hand, could use a good stiff bite of alien ginger sweets. So she munched on the biscuits whilst listening to Frankincense recount a tail of jealousy, love and ginger fear spreading amongst the families.

When he finished the Doctor leaned forward. “I know this one!” he said around a mouth full of biscuits. He swallowed and licked his fingers. “It’s a love triangle, a triad of Romeo and Juliet without all the death and tragedy!”

The Mysseltoze gasped. Rose watched the Doctor bounce up and down excitedly. “You, Frankincense.” He pointed at the young freckle faced Mysseltoze who flinched backwards. “You’re in love with Hollynog!” Hollynog blushed and shifted uncomfortably, her fingers twisting a jingle bell on her robes. “And you, JingleBob! You’re in love with Frankincense!”

Rose shoved a whole biscuit in her mouth as she watched Jinglebob’s cheeks flush and he looked off to the side. Peppermyntz shifted his chair away from all three, shooting glances at them before shaking his head.

“Well,” Rose said, brushing crumbs off her mouth. “This isn’t so bad.” Four sets of eyes stared at her in disbelief. The Doctor giggled and propped his face upon his hand leaning on the arm of the throne, gazing at her with adoration. 

“Do tell, Queen Rose.”

Rose ignored him and pilfered another biscuit from his pocket. He squeaked and muttered about, “Queens and their penchant for taxing TARDIS-less Time Lords.”

“First off,” Rose began, nibbling on her biscuit enjoying the slight high pulsing through her veins. “Hollynog, forgetting the whole alleged ginger thieving and accusations, how do you feel about these blokes?”

Hollynog’s eyes widened. “I don’t know. I mean we were all friends before my ginger root and special soil disappeared.”

Rose nodded. “Yeah but what if none of that happened?”

Hollynog looked at Jinglebob and Frankincense both of whom shifted in their chairs. “Well I like both of them. I mean, Jinglebob has a lovely baritone voice when he sings Deck The Halls with Bows of Ginger to his fields.” Jinglebob sat up and preened. “And Frankincense smells lovely and is so light on his feet at the Annual Ginger Festivus parade. I…I admire both of them.”

“Oh yes, I totally get the singing and dancing thing,” Rose admitted. “It’s hard to find partners to sweep you off your feet with talent like that.” Hollynog nodded and smiled shyly.

“Frankincense,” Rose said softly. He pulled his gaze off of Hollynog. “What do you think now that you know both of your fellow farmers fancy you?”

“I…I don’t know. I mean I never thought that Jinglebob cared. He seemed indifferent but now--”

“Things changed, yeah? I mean there’s no reason for anyone to be jealous,” Rose suggested. He tapped his black boots and stared at his lap before nodding.

“And you Jinglebob?” He flinched and stared at the ground. “Now that you know that Hollynog fancies both of you; and Frankincense here knows you care about him, do you think that could change things?”

“My Queen, I…that is to say, I never imagined anyone had such feelings for an old, dried up ginger farmer.” Tears glistened in his eyes. “I’m sorry for my accusations and gossip.” He looked at Hollynog and Frankincense. “And I swear to you, I didn’t dig up either of your fields.”

“Um, excuse me,” Frankincense raised his hand. “I may have had a small evergrizzlehog problem which may have spread to Hollynog’s field. I was afraid to say anything and then Jinglebob well, he started saying bad things so I just--”

“Right so no one stole from each other,” Rose affirmed. “Gossip and misunderstandings happened. So maybe we can all agree to move forward and help each other grow the best ginger possible, sort of an alliance of ginger growers.”

The three nodded. Jinglebob crossed his arms still appearing to think about this. The Doctor leaned over and drew a finger down her shoulder. Rose jumped. “Hi, there.” He grinned and wiggled his fingers. “I’d like to form an alliance with my Queenie.” He leaned over and snatched away her last ginger biscuit, winked and made a production of eating it.

“Oh we need to get you home.” She shook her head before turning back to her ginger farmers. “Jinglebob, you have something to add?”

“They insulted my gingerbread.” It was muttered with a petulant elf expression. Rose rolled her eyes before turning back to Frankincense and Hollynog. “Well?”

Peppermyntz cleared his throat. “Perhaps if the Queen tasted all the gingerbread, she could make a pronouncement settling the matter?”

“Yes!” The Doctor jumped up, his eyes sparkling with excitement. Rose was too busy staring at his red velvet clad bum but finally the suggestion filtered through her mind. 

“Yes, fine whatever it takes.”

The snow globe dome of privacy lifted. Peppermyntz nodded at several of the courtiers nearby and soon they were carting in plates of gingerbread whilst Jinglebob, Hollynog and Frankincense whispered amongst themselves.

Rose rubbed at her temples and prepared herself for the onslaught of spicy treats. The Doctor bounced in his seat humming _jingle bells_ ready for more treats. Rose inhaled a deep breath. She could do this. It was just gingerbread. How hard could it be to pick a winner? 

An hour later and after tasting six samples with a break in between each to cleanse her palette, Rose dizzily asked for seconds to make sure she got it right. The Doctor had slid from his chair onto the floor and was singing a holiday rendition of a Hundred Casks of Nog on the Ship. 

“I love all of it,” she announced, infused with a happy warm glow of ginger inebriation. And she knew she was tipsy and possibly sloshed on ginger. She just didn’t care anymore.

“But which one do you like best?” Jinglebob asked, gripping at his coat nervously.

“All of them. They are all equally delicious.” She nodded here head in affirmation. “And as your Queen, I hereby dictate there shall be no more prejudice or discrimination of gingerbread.” She stood up wobbling slightly as Peppermyntz hovered nearby with his arms out to steady her. “Furthermore--” She held out her hand which wavered in the air. “I declare all ginger farmers will work together to make their ginger crops better. No more bickering about whose is better cause…well it’s gingerbread and it’s all good and the whole purpose is to make people happy. So you know, enough negativity. Love and support each other and focus on ginger for everyone!”

The courtiers applauded. Rose smiled and curtsied as the Doctor crawled up next to her. “All hail Queen Ginger!” Rose elbowed him in the side. “I mean Rose!”

“You can kiss and make up now.” Rose inclined her head at the three farmers. Frankincense shrugged and thoroughly snogged his fellow farmers. “Awww you see, everyone lives happily ever after.” Rose giggled and turned and snogged the Doctor enjoying the sweet and spicy taste as his tongue glided against hers.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and rested their foreheads together then giggled. 

“Thank you, my Queen.” Peppermyntz announced. “We won’t keep you and your consort from your Earthly duties.” 

“Earthly duties,” the Doctor whispered with a lascivious smirk.

“Shut up,” Rose responded with a grin and in an icy woosh, the two were transmatted back to Earth, landing in a tangle of limbs.

“Ouch.” Rose rubbed her head and pushed herself up with a palm against the Doctor’s chest. 

“Rose!” Jackie ran up to her and Rose blinked at her. 

“Wait, where are we?”

“Those bloody elves took you!” Jackie helped her daughter up. “You landed in the back garden. You look gorgeous, sweetheart.” The Doctor groaned and Jackie looked down at him. “What the hell happened to himself?”

Rose looked down and giggled while swaying into her mum. “Oh you know, kidnapped by aliens, got pissed on gingerbread and solved an alien feud.”

“Awww they left you presents!” Jackie exclaimed. 

Rose looked around at the array of brightly wrapped packages along with neatly stacked and pressed clothes the Doctor and she wore when they arrived. The Doctor snored softly beside them. Pete walked up and shook his head. 

“Gingerbread I take it?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Sorry, Pete. We’ve had a bit of a day. Do you mind helping me get him inside?”

Pete snorted and grinned. “Not at all. I’ll have Jake scan the gifts for any unusual surprises.”

“The ginger whiskey is all yours.” Rose winked at him as she swayed to the side as Pete helped get the Doctor upright, jostling him awake. 

“Pete Tyler!” the Doctor announced with exuberance. “Good to see you again!”

“Nice to see you too, Doctor. We can sort out your adventure in the morning. Although,” Pete drew out. “Nice suit.”

“Isn’t is spiffy!” The Doctor ran a hand down his velvet clad arm. “Rose likes it. Maybe it’s my new theme.”

Rose shook her head as they walked inside, only stumbling a few times. When they made it upstairs, Rose let Pete get back to managing Torchwood’s inspection while Rose managed the Doctor. And in the quiet of her bedroom, the Doctor fell onto her bed. Rose collapsed next to him.

“Rose?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“I meant what I said on the beach.”

Rose curled up close to him and he wrapped an arm around her until they faced each other.

“Is this the ginger talking?” He leaned into her and rubbed his nose against hers.

“One hundred percent Doctor here.”

“I meant what I said on the ship,” Rose assured him.

“Sooo you and me are we okay then?”

“Yeah, I think so. Just maybe we could avoid anything ginger for a while.” She stretched and yawned, resting her head on his shoulder and running her fingers over the velvet fabric down his chest.

“The one adventure I thought I could never have.”

“Mysseltozian Consort?” Rose giggled.

“Spending my forever with you.”

Rose lifted her head and gazed into clear brown eyes, no longer glazed with ginger drunkenness but filled with a deep meaning. Rose brushed her lips against his and they feel asleep, snogging and dreamed of gingerbread and a life time of adventures.


End file.
